Tag Archives: Poetry

remembering

for my poem REMEMBERING Bursa016

Oriental Plane Bursa, Turkey

Platanus Orientalis, Bursa, Turkey

Georges Jansoone JoJan – Own work (own photo)

 

 

remembering

 

would you like your door closed

 

…is it the same shuffle

only a bit faster at speed than yesterday

or was it last week

is it a she like i

what difference does it make anyway

we all look the same

but not at all in a good way

was that an actual laughter

visitors

how precious they are

 

do you need me to pull down the shades

 

…the grandmother story of that young nurse

my clouds are as intriguingly shaped to me

teasing the sun rays now and again

maybe it is the other way around

shine

come on

shine on my yellowed eyes and face

why not also on my blued, greened and crimsoned vein outlets

 

too bad you don’t have a view

 

on the contrary

what about the vast yellow green crimson mountain

its playful clouds

its sunshine – no matter how shy

my breath carried away by my shuffling feet

yes, still yet to arrive…

perhaps, however, sooner than we all think

 

if only you had a lovely tree to see

 

well…

she did

like in her most favorite story

a woman alone in her room

only one plane tree escorting her

through the tiny window

she watching its leaves fall

a few at a time

she dying with the last one

 

would you like your door closed

do you need me to pull down the shades

 

thank you for asking but no

i think i will be alive for a little while longer

 

hülya n. yılmaz, 11.1.2014

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…before and after a trying summer…

Aylar sonra Toruncanım kucağımda.Gizem sayesinde.10.2.2014 copy

[Photo: Courtesy of my daughter who gently placed my little big love on my lap without hurting me at all. After months of me having to avoid him, I was overjoyed to feel him this closely. But…if he weren’t asleep, I would not have had any chance to hold him on my lap like this,as he is quite an active little one…my thanks to his sleep fairies and to my daughter for thinking of this loving trick!]

 

As you all know, the late spring and the entire summer spanning to early fall  this year had presented a multitude of ailments to me. Gratitude for my renewed chances for life fills me now. I had written the poem below for my grandson. For a long while, I assumed I wasn’t going to be able to see him ever again. Today, out of joy – and on account of the contrary (!), I am sharing those verses with you. Please be forewarned:  though my little big love most of the time prefers to smile or laugh, he has learned to be quite generous with his tears since…

 

in his tiny seat with his precious frowning face

about to shed his newly-learned dropful of tears

but as soon as with his bottle she rushly nears

he pauses and awaits in awed anticipation her nestling embrace

 

where is the engine that runs those kissable fast filled-in arms and legs

what revs up the speed at which they move up down and sideways

those adorably small hands and feet on an invisible wing

one would think he is lifted up onto a sky-reaching swing

 

sadness in his sky-blue eyes begins as fast to disappear

his whole-body smile then glows in brightness to delight

joins the cutest giggle with a coo – to him ever so dear

mother and son thus embark as one on their blissful flight

 

© hülya n yılmaz – May 11, 2014

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“Nazım Hikmet’i hatırlıyorum…”/’I am thinking of Nazım Hikmet…’

41_Hikmet_hires-FLAT

Nazım Hikmet (1902-1963)

[Photo Courtesy: Free Online Link]

 

Nazım Hikmet’i hatırlıyorum…

nasıl da iyi tanımış yurdun bazı gerçeklerini

kadınımızdan biteviye esirgenenleri

ister olsun tek bir başına ya da kocasının yanında

olsun varsın bir bebesi, o verici böğrünün öz yuvasında…

 

“ince, küçük çeneleri, kocaman gözleriyle

anamız, avradımız, yarimiz” kadınlar

ama anaya yakışan saygıyı analığında bile alamayan analar

“soframızdaki yeri öküzümüzden sonra gelen”…

 

doğurmasa, erkeğinin göze alamayacağı taze hayatı ona veren

herkes ana oluyorları kendine defalarca dedirten

gene de yüzlerinden tebessüm nadiren eksilen

“aynı yorgun alışkanlık” çemberine mahkum edilen kadınımız…

 

Nazım Hikmet’i hatırlıyorum…

nasıl da iyi tanımış seninle beni,

onu şunu bunu

bizi sizi onları

bilmiş çok öncesinden bugünü geçmişi ve de geleceği

bütün dünya bir coşkuya muhtaç bahane ararken bir kutlamaya

‘avradını, yarini’ analıklarında bile hiçe saymaya

ant içmiş erkeklerimizin tek toplar damarlı aile sofrasına

katmış cömert bir asaletle bu dahi destanına…

 

(Free-translation in Turkish; unrevised/unedited. The distinction between the singular and plural  form of each gender in the version below is intentional: Nazım’s “women” meet here my “woman.”)

I am thinking of Nazım Hikmet…

He knew too well our country of birth

The endless deprivation of our woman from life

Whether solo or adjacent to her husband

Or together with her baby at the core of her selfless chest…

 

Women “with their fine, small chins and large eyes;

Our mother, wife, lover”

But mothers who even in motherhood are robbed of motherly respect

Women “whose places for mealtimes come after our ox”…

The one giving fresh life to her husband – who wouldn’t dare, if she hadn’t…

The one who tolerates the frequented ‘everyone becomes a mother’- shout

Not neglecting a smile from her face nevertheless

The one who gets the sentence of the deadening “same tired“ rut…

 

I am thinking of Nazım Hikmet…

How well he knew you me her us them

The present the past the future of his never forgotten home

So well…

That with his noble saga

He welds our woman to the single-veined family table of our men

Who have sworn to belittle their ‘wives, lovers’ even when they are maternal

While in search of such a joy the entire world seeks an excuse to celebrate …

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when time stood still

For 8.31.2014 Blog Post.1326030

 

are you chlostrophobic

you did very well the last time

 

staples nausea feverishness anxious about that intruder

acutely aware now of that overly tight of a loneliest space

breathing hurts regardless

 

the better choice, mri not doable, too early to discard the stitches

surgical endoscopy under general anesthesia a must

setback

not major, considering

a setback nevertheless

 

 

when have i become this fortunate, dear Drs. C, A, D, P, Thu, S, Tho

to have you circle around me

not giving up

though perplexed from the onset

 

how do you manage

to turn nighttimes

into bearable patches

you beautiful sweet Ma, A, Me, S, T, D, B, L

 

and Alice, oh sweet Alice

your aged yet capable body catering to the troubled vessel of mine

those clear-sky-blue gorgeous eyes reading my face with caring intent

you are a unique woman – your soothing voice rises high

it’s the least i can be

amid you wonder-generating women of various ages

after all

when time stood still for me

wrapped in the silence of death

a precious offering from you all would not

 

love

 

hülya n yılmaz (August 25, 2014)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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“Whiny”

Babamın kucağında.Alişin dudakları bükülü

[Summer 2014, my dad with my grandson in his arms. I must have worn out those arms or hands by insisting for years he’d carry me…Then, when, just once, he gets the chance to hold his great-grandson, the little darling happens to feel not so comfortable as I have for time and time again]

For my 8.3.2014 blog post

[My dad, with a three-year old me in his arms – the date on the photo is original]

Whiny

She died
at 48
I was 25
at each of our phone calls since
your shaky voice sang to me:
“We are behind you always!”

I am 58 now
even became a grandmother
but you know, dad, what I still do?
I keep looking back to see those loving four hands
not touching me not to risk my freedom
just being there, for anytime I might need their tender safety net
and how many times did I let go those slippery ropes
with you lifting me up from the choppy waters I dove into

I see you more and more in my dreams of the late
the way I used to see mom before her death
as if to sense my growing fear
this Bayram you told me the story of your family-side’s luck
how they “make it” to a rather late age…

One pair of hands have been gone for long
though you kept them close to your side all along
What am I to do, dad,
if the other pair is no longer behind me always?

hülya n yılmaz (© August 1, 2014)

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what is the matter with the world today?

999313_404309403011070_1994059744_n

(Black Rose of Halfeti, Turkey)

 

My heart is heavy today. It has been for a while. Not because of an unfortunate development in my life, or in the lives of my family and friends. It is due rather to an ongoing accumulation inside that red ticking box of mine of the terrifying news from South Sudan, Chibok, Nigeria, Lahore, Pakistan, Southern Asia, Africa at large, Latin America, the Caribbean, Turkey, Germany and the United States. Coming to terms with the extent of violence that has occurred and keep occurring hasn’t been possible for me this time. Then again, I often get this way: become non-functional, if I let too much sorrow from around me seep through me. This time, I had to let it bleed to a poem attempt.

 

what’s the matter with the world today?

 

it is not one sweetest Malala only to feel forlorn

nor a love-filled Farzana helpless outside her unborn

the countless still remaining ageless nameless and faceless

halved alive after witnessing butchery of their newborns

or etched to the bones with their hunters so sadistic

their supplies had mercy to end it all at last

 

i think of

schools

babies

 

scorched dispensable innocents in sky-high districts

in routine safe A to B B to A making-a-living-transits

walking explosives under modesty cloaks in pregnancy disguise

the piloting sons their heroes they may not even a second despise

for mauling to their stone-aged lairs more and more younger child brides

 

i think of

schools

babies

 

papas selling infant daughters

mamas in silence guilty standing by

brothers uncles nephews proud to lend a capable hand

a bowed head from in-lawed blood-seekers no longer a demand

sisters aunts nieces even if at all around

don’t dare or care anymore to disband

 

i think of

schools

babies

 

hülya n yılmaz – June 28, 2014

 

 

 

 

 

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…where the spirit moved me today…

imageThe “Tarzan” of Sinop in Sinop, Turkey

Perhaps it is the arrival of summer in its loyal promise to don its sun just for me, for one minuscule moment of time, flooding its heat over my yearningly aged body with a bright touch of blue, all the way to the tips of my toes…the sensation in me ebbing in waves…or, maybe I am infected with that delicious microbe reappearing in my young self’s eyes yet once again, for no reason at all…I am taken aback by the irresistible chime of the break-fast bell under the wings of a dove about to land on my nostalgia for Sinop…

Can Yücel.semihcelenk_13510967644

Can Yücel is said to have been a lover of serenity, the simple life, whose images always reminded me of the Sinopian in the first picture but even more so after I learned how this famous Turkish poet had preferred to live  – not necessarily in a self-made hut but certainly catering to uncomplicated living. I admit: my obsession with remote areas and simplicity in all aspects of existence tends to overwhelm me when I least expect an ambush of that nature. Such as today. When the air in my study began to thicken taking away my breath, while my desire to materialize their reality intensified. No such luck! Therefore, I spanned overseas where both of these men special in their own unique ways lived and died. What a pity! I wasn’t moved to a new poem I could share with you. However, I lowered my translation bridge to one of Yücel’s poems…

Ukte

Dünyamın güzeli martılar
Sizden nasıl da yok yere korkmuşum
Kaşık Ada’nın orda!

Dalın üstüme dalın
Vurun beni, vurun
Denizanası kokan gagalarınızla!
Ah sizden ben nasıl da yok yere korkmuşum!

Bilmiyordum ki çünkü
Ben hem balığım hem kuşum

Ben ama hala anlayamıyorum ki
Bunca zaman niye sizden ayrı oturmuşum

Regret

My precious seagulls

How I had been fearing you for nothing

On the Island of Kaşık!

 

Plunge into me plunge

Strike me, strike

With your bills of jellyfish smell!

Alas! How I had been fearing you for nothing!

 

For I knew not

A fish also a bird I am

 

But I still can’t understand

Why all this time I lived apart from you

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…on Madiba (and myself): a post-humous poem…

Before I knew even an approximate location of his village of birth on the world map (for lack of geographic vision on my behalf), I had heard about the “freedom fighter Nelson Mandela of Africa” while I was still on Turkish grounds. My undergraduate years helped me intensify my admiration for him – though still not at all with any in-depth understanding of what he meant for humanity at large. Only later was I to attain the appreciation of his gift to people everywhere. Below, I am sharing with you a poem I wrote from the perspective of a little girl. While I refer to her as “a little girl”, she embodies the young woman who became the object of ridicule on account of her interest in a far away continent but also for behaving as if she were a native disciple of a most prominent world leader. She then meets Madiba, her object of adoration, after all. And when she does,  she complains to him about her unsuccessful attempts to connect with him – this time, her mannerism is that of a spoiled little child. In despair, she concludes she arrived too late. It was her lifelong wish to see her Madiba, after all. However, for her (unversed) celebration of integrity, dignity, fairness, persistence, love of freedom, peace and humanity – the makings of life’s aorta she learned from this legendary human being, there is no lateness. As she realizes it in her grown matter. For she is “no longer the same”…

 

what, did you say, your name is?

 

neither an African nor with any other honor

yet

i

dared

to wait for my turn…

Sir

 

too many call you father brother “our leader”

i have for long been reading their proud demeanor

from the ever so negligent sidelines

cursing my whiteness along most times

 

i, too, have known you all my life!

spreading your word has still been a strife

ridiculed when in my native land

to the mundane most would rather clap a hand

no one could utter Xhosa even the word

Zulu or Afrikaans? nowhere to be heard

 

i am grateful better yet in a daze

in disbelief of my timing of seeing these days

i beg of you imagine, Sir: Qunu

why did i deserve bunu*

i trekked ocean crests and river beds

slept in caves made tree tops my nests

doves and eagles flew with me to find my way

not even once did i go astray

 

tears now flood in me in red

from Sinop to Eastern Cape

what use? i am so gravely late!

 

 

Madiba Sir? my name?

 

hülya n yılmaz, no longer the same

 

*Impersonal pronoun in Turkish in the accusative case meaning “this”

[Inner Child Press Mandela anthology]

~ ~ ~

Before I sign off for today, I would also like to refresh an announcement I made to you a few weeks back regarding the launch of my part-time freelance writing and editing business. Instead of adding another blog, I ended up creating my own webpage, Services for the Professional Writer.

As always, my best wishes are with you for your Sunday and new week. I look forward to your next visit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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…fortunate and excited to share two news with you…

Books! Don’t you just love them?

th-1th-2th

For my blog.TRANCE Cover Front Final

At my publisher, Inner Child Press, ltd.

At amazon.com

 

Good Sunday! Just this past week, I have found out the following news, both from my publisher. Forgive me, if I only bring them to you this time. May the rest of your Sunday and your new week be as pleasant as it can be. As always, I very much look forward to your next visit.

~ ~ ~

The first news comes to you in a simple copy and paste act as follows: 

“Congratulations to Laura Lee Sweet, LaFaye Farrar, Keith Alan Hamilton, Robert J. Neal, Patrice N. Rivers, Hülya N Yılmaz and Lisa N. Wiley … they are the top 7 in Book Sales for the 1st Quarter of 2014. Find out why at: Inner Child Press Bookstore

The second news regards the fact that I now am on the verge of  launching my professional manuscript  review and critique services within the body of Inner Child Press, ltd. I am currently working on establishing my new blog, also right here on wordpress.com. This branching was offered to me by dear William S. Peters Sr.,my publisher (scroll down, once on the site),  thanks to his critical insight into my corresponding extensive experience in the fields of book and manuscript reviews and critiques. Review and Critique Services for Manuscripts of Fiction of All Length, my related blog site is yet under construction. Please visit it in about few short days, if you could; for I seek and will look forward to receive your thoughts, reactions, comments, suggestions.

 

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Via cell phones: State College, PA – Lagos, Nigeria

When Kolade Olanrewaju Freedom, the author of The Light Bearer (also available in the U.S.) asked me, if I could attend an event of high significance for him, namely his debut introduction to his readers in Nigeria, I was eager to do so. While I couldn’t be there physically, our cellphones managed to enable us a bridge between the continents. My words of endorsement of his poetry appear below, in the form and content I compiled them within a short amount of time that I had (not due to Kolade’s negligence but rather our time zone difference but also my heavy work schedule). I hope my enthusiasm will be well-served so that you may be interested in informing yourselves with this poet of rare talent who happens to be very young but his life  view and lyrical analysis of life issues exceed many heavily aged individual’s capacity. Please read my text picturing my actual presence there in the gathering room for his event, addressing his audience before he begins his book reading.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A rare talent in composing poetry but also in raising awareness for world issues that matter against the backlash of pitifully mundane ados – perhaps the youngest peace ambassador.

This is hülya yılmaz from State College, Pennsylvania-USA. A warm hello to Lagos State, Nigeria. I feel privileged to be one of the guests at your unique event today in honor of Kolade Olanrewaju Freedom. Knowing Mr. Olanrewaju has been a privilege all by itself. There must be many who are eager to talk about his poetry, so I shall keep my comments on his rarely found poetic work brief. I allow myself to judge as such based on my extensive university career in teaching literature in all its various genres. There is a quote on poetry I am particularly fond of, and it is by the American poet and writer Charles Bukowski: “Poetry is what happens when nothing else can.” Kolade’s lyrical work demonstrates the materialization of the Bukowski conviction. Mr. Olanrewaju’s poetic voice demands attention.   For its clarity, genuine spirit, innovative and creative symbolic imagery, engaging diction and for its musical composition at the same time. There are many, just too many poems in his first book, The Light Bearer, that I could refer to and comment on and on. But, as I noted before, I am not the only one at this literary gathering who wants to shout out to all attending as loudly as I can what the significance of this unbelievably young but incredibly matured poetic genius. I will mention the titles of a few, almost all from about the middle section of The Light Bearer. While I do so, I want to hope that there will be time enough for someone to read these poems aloud for everyone to hear – hopefully again and again. One of them treasures his book on its earlier pages, “My Tongue My Culture”; the others, more toward the mid-section: “Doves in the Sky”, “The Pillars of Peace”, “Let Me Speak My Scars” and later in this notable book, “Beautiful Petals”. Obviously, I can’t and won’t manipulate the time allotted for your event, and will, therefore, only give you a poem by Kolade through which I got to meet him. I will always cherish that time.WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BUY PEACE?

 

I sit on a mammoth mountain

 

Holding the map of a nation

I

Stare at map with fondness

 

While I savour the smell of peace

 

But mood wouldn’t be retained for long;

 

Map suddenly bleeds

 

Blood flows like the Red Sea

 

Children’s tears deafen my ears

 

Adults wail in agony

 

Brutality and cruelty kill without ceasing.

 

 

Peace is sick in Syria

 

Should we call violence to treat?

 

Love is jailed in Syria

 

Should we employ hatred to defend?

 

Humanity is assaulted in Syria

 

Should we call inhumanity to Judge?

 

Death is thief in Syria

 

Should we call Deaths to arrest?

 

 

War is a whore

 

It seduces death to be its lover

 

While being engaged to catastrophe.

 

 

Confusion parties within me

 

Violence must halt

 

But certainty of identity

of the STOPPER

eludes me

 

How can peace be so costly

 

When all we need to purchase is love?

 

An example of what he offers in the face of the prominent tribal mentality among the world leaders at large, isn’t it?

I promise, these will be my last words (for this event) – words that Kolade Olanerwaju’s poetic power practically gave me the insight to write about his book: Is creative writing a learning objective or an innate quality, constitutes an age-old question. With Kolade Olanrewaju Freedom, the answer is multi-faceted, as his poetry eases the reader to a phenomenon of rare talent and impeccable ability in self-teaching. No ordinary evaluation criteria will do. [My own words from The Light Bearer] Thank you all for listening, Thank you, dearest Kolade, for mediating my words through what I am sure to be an utmost lovely reading voice. Continued success to you, dear young friend!

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