Category Archives: Reflections

“A Crappy Poem for a Crappy . . .”

a crappy poem for a crappy planet maintenance

lately, i have not written poems
poetry, however, has always been my go-to

i feel crappy inside, and look thus on the outside
negative thoughts have been piling up in me
for too long of a while,
and they spread like fire of the wild

our planet’s state of being leaves me in despair
no care for tomorrow, no care for today
a gigantic dumpster is what we are turning it into
the forests, the valleys, the oceans, the rivers,
all of them get their shabby share

i know, i know
this poem is utterly crappy
but i cannot help writing it for each of us to see
how we supposedly maintain our planet
is being done ever so lousily

what are we leaving for our children,
for our grandchildren,
for our yet-to arrive fellow humans?

a crappy planet

not unlike these crappy lines

an egregious chunk of disarray!

​© hülya n. yılmaz

This poem is one of the three with which I have contributed to the April 2022 issue of The Year of the Poet published by Inner Child Press International.

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hatalarım

kalbimden yana hiç şüphem olmadı
asla bilerek, isteyerek üzmedim kimseyi
gene de işledim hatalar canlarıma karşı,
hem de ciddi mi ciddi
kırdım hak etmeyen pırıl pırıl gönülleri

varmışım artık geç bir yaşın kapısına
ağlıyorum içimden her güneş doğumunda,
sanki nehirler akabilecekmiş gibi
yollarının aksi bir yönüne,
sanki yağmur, kar, dolu yağabilecek
gökyüzüne doğru,
sanki ölenlerim dönecek,
sanki anlatabileceğim onlara
yeniden kendimi,
sanki vurabileceğim sözcüklere
onları hiç bir zaman
incitmek istemediğimi

kalbimden yana hiç şüphem olmadı
ama ya dilim?

hülya n. yılmaz, 10 Nisan, 2022

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“beads”/”boncuklar”

crafting a necklace,
one bead at a time . . .

happy moments,
braided on a taut string

sadness
resentment
anger
fear
blame
guilt
regret
in a box on the side,
lid closed in a tight knot
an inescapable afterthought,
neither marring the thriving self
nor threatening the inner peace

as time passes,
even the most miniscule beads
take on a life of their own,
contentment weighs heavily
atop the ills and tribulations

crafting a necklace,
one bead at a time . . .

happy moments,
braided on a taut string

hülya n. yılmaz, April 7, 2022

~ ~ ~ ~

bir kolye diziyorum,
bir boncuk, bir boncuk daha . . .

mutlu anlar
sağlam bir ipe örülü

hüzün
kızgınlık
korku
suçlama
suç hissi
pişmanlık
bir kutu içinde, yan tarafta,
kapağı gemici düğümüyle mühürlenmiş
kaçınılmaz düşüncelere gebe
ama ne gelişen ben’i zedeleyebiliyor,
ne de iç huzurunu tehdit edebiliyor

zaman ilerledikçe
en ufak boncuk bile can buluyor,
hoşnutluk bütün sıkıntıların, endişelerin üstüne
tüm ağırlığıyla yerleşiyor

bir kolye diziyorum,
bir boncuk, bir boncuk daha . . .

mutlu anlar
sağlam bir ipe örülü

hülya n.  yılmaz, 7 Nisan, 2022

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A Random Act of Kindness

About ten days ago, an amazing experience came my way. I was getting ready to pay for some needed groceries at Giant’s. While I gave my line to another customer, I mumbled to him that I was still looking for my “card”. I heard a voice: ” May I please pay for your groceries today?” A young lady was asking me so. Imagine my surprise! I thanked her and explained that I was looking for my Giant’s card. She responded: “Oh, okay. I am sorry. These days, we have to look out for each other.” I thanked her again. Not enough for such an incredible act of kindness! But she understood.

Yaklaşık on gün önce, muhteşem bir şey yaşadım. Birkaç gıda malzemesi aldığım bir marketin kartını ararken, kasada kendi aldıklarını ödemek üzere olan genç bir kadın bana hitaben şunları söyledi: “Bugün için sizin aldıklarınızi ben ödeyebilir miyim?” Ona hemen hararetle teşekkür ettim ve alelacele o güzel insana hangi kartı aradığımı açıkladım. “Kusura bakmayın,” dedi, “bugünlerde birbirimize destek olmamız lazım.” Tekrar teşekkür ettim bu karşılıksız yardıma hazır güzel insana. Sanki böylesine bir insani tavıra basit bir teşekkür yeterliymis gibi! Fakat o genç hanım beni anladı.

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Humans, Abandoned

[Disclaimer: I love pets. I love animals all around. I do not condone any type of cruelty toward them.]

i have seen many an activist,
having also read extensively
about those countless individuals
who demonstrate compassion to pets
and loudly voice their passion

about animal rights,

taking away from the homeless
their only 4-legged companions,
leaving the society’s neglected and ignored
unfortunate behind,
to whatever end awaits them

to make sure the animals have a shelter
or to have them euthanized,
when homes cannot be found for them

if cruelty were to define itself
such acts would do so to a t

hülya n. yılmaz, February 23, 2022

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The Snow

sitting on what is still my patio,

all bundled up in winter gear

watching the snow flakes dance

a strong wind accompanies them

i will soon be scattered around

off to another leg of life’s journey

thinking of the world’s homeless . . .

hülya n. yılmaz, February 18, 2022

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“. . . a grim reality . . .”

when the gravity of a grim reality
hits you, you don a mask
of an awkward laughter
at times, internal tears
become a trusted companion

the warning signs were there all along,
screaming from the top of their lungs,
only to be silenced under the pretense of
“Everything will be alright.”

what a gathering of meaningless words,
of make-believes with no end!

giving up your hard-attained abode
is nothing to smile about

yet

you do
yes, you do
bitterly so

and life

goes on
and on and on
with all its heaviness,
it passes you by

only a small breathing room is allowed,
one that is now on lease

so, you sit in one remote corner,
now on loan with a high interest rate,
you stay in its old, familiar comfort
for a moment or two,
hoping against hope
not to be noticed
for being seen in your nakedness
humiliates you even more

sure, life will go on
it always does

but it leaves you
under the gravity
of a grim reality

to deal with the debris!

hülya n. yılmaz ~ February 4, 2022 

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A HAIKU

have all leaves parted
how do they live with their angst
their branches as dust

​hülya n. yılmaz, February 2, 2022

In Turkish . . . not in HAIKU form, however . . .

dağıldı mı yaprakların her biri
bir yere tutunma çabası içinde ne yapar onlar
üzerinde barındıkları dallar bükülmüşken

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“Convincing the Self” ~ A Poem

at a crossroads
of a significant loss
of worldly nature, that is
emotions run high still

sixteen years of memories
embedded in these tired old walls
no amount of fresh paint
can wipe off those delights
each of them will accompany me
wherever i now go, wherever i shall remain
for the rest of my days

i am reminded of a poet’s words
an equally convoluted mind . . .
“With death being a reality,
nothing should be taken seriously.”

i, however, am taking my predicament
with scrutiny, under utmost seriousness
for i have acted impulsively, carelessly
many a year ago

having arrived at a point beyond sadness,
i neared my resolve quite fast though
i, thus, am uttering an eager greeting
to all my erroneous ways toward a peaceful “hello”
for i presently see in myself a grateful soul
with indispensable learning curves

no fault

no guilt

no self-blame

just accepting the self
exactly as it became to be

​hülya n. yılmaz, January 25, 2022

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“Sliding Doors” ~ A New Poem

sliding doors

almost as often as i breathe in,
i exhale this wishful thinking these days

what if . . .
my impulses were tamed
once and for all

what if . . .
my amygdala had lent an ear to reason
on voluminous occasions

what if . . .
my what ifs would exceed the extent
of a modest-size single-hit volume of my
life-altering decisions and deeds

what if . . .
i had viewed beforehand
with some suspicion at least
each swift initiative i took
ever so flirtatiously

what if . . .

the reality

of my existence

was now

not thus . . .

​hülya n. yılmaz, January 20, 2022

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