Category Archives: Reflections

“no longer the same one”

please do not tell me anymore
how to cross my sitting legs in a skirt
to hide well under my pants the private fabric 
in what age-order to serve guests our coffee
what to do with the crumbs on the dining table
(no hand swipes on to my palms!)
not to laugh heartily in public
to wait for my turn in speaking up anywhere
. . .

my instincts had no trouble
accommodating the required obvious
catering to the needs and wants
other than my own
while i knew deep inside
that you all 
meant well
carrying me through life with your love

i am of old age now
and i have had enough

still conflicting no harm to anyone
holding not even an ounce of ill will
in any of my body’s cells
or inside the pure chambers of my heart
i am forevermore
as gentle as ever before
toward those 
who had no business in mine
or continue to think they have the right

i have had my bountiful share
of personal sacrifices

for self-prolonging decades
and then some more beyond
. . .

i am of old age now

and i have had enough

please do not judge me anymore
for actions that i have not undertaken
nor for the spirit-lifting deeds 
i was (and will always be)
happy to carry out

without inhibitions
with no hesitancy
and in love
love for one
love for all

a few chunks of real life
are awaiting me
as these days i find
in sweetest delight

i will not cease
to care about you
nor to eternally treasure you
in fact i would do so with my utmost might

whenever i am invited that is . . .

will you just please
try not to turn

my humbled joy and happiness
into a nonsense plight

© hülya n. yılmaz, 12.6.2017



Filed under Poetry, Reflections

“like an eagle”

İstanbul dons a large number of majestic forts
those structures from many an ancient history
may today not appear as powerful anymore
but the debris alone suffice to astound
the willing eye through a peek
at the haunting view of the mighty Bosphorus
together with the influential breaths
that numerous civilizations of the past
have generously left in its depths

i have not been there in a long while
only in an empirical sense that is
frequent visits of my fertile imagination
have otherwise sated my hunger and thirst
my longing for the dead who were left behind
and my cravings for the impeccable times
each of which was re-lived in harmony
amid a painstakingly caring love

i borrowed an eagle’s eye on this special day
perched atop one of the bastions and began to sway

palaces teahouses trolleys Bazaars cafés fishermen
rare carpet, Kilim and antiquities-selling ambitious shops
yachts one of a kind-mosques the famed Dolmabahçe Sarai
freighters speed boats Hovercrafts scenic jogging paths
do not interest me in the least. The eagle’s eye is a loan
of refined delicacy. I refuse to waste it for the mundane . . .

on the bottom of the Bosphorus all of a sudden
underneath a recent undercurrent, oh so sullen!
amid seagrass . . .

. . . i spot my brass keychain
of four distinctive keys
my elephant still carries on,
towing them heroically
its movable pretty trunk
waves at me ecstatically

i lead us all . . .

. . . to the astonishing Sinopian coasts
to my breathtakingly serene flat-sanctuary

i discover to my demise . . .
. . . it is no longer there

only then do i recall my dream of this year
on the night of the 2nd month’s 14th


my loaner eye weeps

~ ~ ~

From my newest book of poetry: Aflame. Memoirs in Verse. Inner Child Press Ltd. (August 2, 2017)
Also available at inner child press are the following:

An Aegean Breeze of Peace, a book of poetry that I have co-authored with
Demetrios Trifiatis (October 12, 2015) and

Trance (December 12, 2013) ~ My trilingual poetry book with my own translations between English, German and Turkish


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. . .

“A billion stars go spinning through the night, blazing high above your head. But in you is the presence that will be, when the stars are dead.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke


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. . .

“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive – the risk to be alive and express what we really are.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz


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. . .

“You can’t cross the sea
merely by standing and
staring at the water.”

Rabindranath Tagore

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. . .

“True freedom arises when you do not want anything from anyone else and so, from this fearless state, you will be at peace with yourself and all beings. This is the beautiful gift you will bring to the world by letting go of the addiction to ‘self’. One less being demanding that life always will please and satisfy them.” ~ Michael Kewley


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. . .

“They say, ‘Find a purpose in your life and live it’. But, sometimes, it is only after you have lived that you recognize your life had a purpose, and likely one you never had in mind.” ~ Khaled Hosseini


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