Tag Archives: Poetry

“before you were born”

before you were born

i am not known for mincing my words
you have seen my brutal honesty many a time
whenever it was about the facts of my life
even with confessions difficult to bear
i made sure i spoke each of them to you
in all the details i needed you to hear

so, you already know . . .
as the odd one out
among my marriage-craving friends
of my carefree youth
i had never desired to be a wife
i expected more from life

you also knew,
i had never yearned to be a mother
not because i had no love for children
quite the contrary has been true!
i simply used to think
motherhood was not meant for me

but then, you happened, BirTanem!

(i lived and continue in highest gratitude to live
that incomparable, breathtaking love of and for you
thanks to you, i am living it also
in and with my two little big loves,
Toruncanlarım)

oh yes, i do!

four years into my marriage
you, BirTanem, a rarest gem
poured meaning to my being
the Sun woke up and began to shine
water started to run and tasted divine
overjoyed, the air rained on me in a trance
awakened was anew my womanly shrine

to this date
i am great-filled for the fate
that brought me your father
i will be thankful to my destiny
beyond eternity

for
you,
my Sun,
my water,
my breath,
are one of a kind!

 

From: Canlarım, My Lifeblood – My newest book of poetry in Turkish and English (a private edition, December 2019)

 

 

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“Aren’t You Afraid to . . .”

aren’t you afraid to go to those places?

must i fear life?
no, you say?

why, then, should i deprive myself
from experiencing a loving embrace
in countries that enchant countless others
with their people utterly beautiful, inside and out
who despite my lack of their tongue
enwrap me
accept me
show their desire
to understand me
unconditionally

was i afraid to journey there?
of course not! no!
whatever for?
love, after all, is
and will forever be
here for us and with us all!

(c) hülya n. yılmaz
From my latest book, this and that

Background: Before embarking on a 2-month-long trip abroad, I was asked the question that serves as the title of my poem here. My travels were known to include various countries in the Middle East. Stigmas accompanied some dear people who seemed concerned about my safety / well-being in those places.

To order, please go to my Inner Child Press-link at hülya n. yılmaz or the Amazon-link at hülya n. yılmaz

 

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“a plea to us all”

a plea to us all

oh, my beloved humanity
take down all the walls of collective shame
we need love’s glow alone at our being’s core
deep within our souls’ all-embracing precious frame
right at this very moment, and henceforth, through eternity

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, December 28, 2018

*I had submitted this poem as one of the five to be featured at the 2019 UNESCO Poetry event in British Columbia.

 

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In the Silence of the Night

when the body acts out
your own mortality
taps you on the shoulder

you don’t self-indulge in angst
thoughts of those who have suffered
and suffer hourly sharpen their silhouettes
right before your mind’s eyes
the heart is not far behind

you then arrive at a crossroads
taking the yet-untravelled path
surrounded by the peace of silence

you realize that against all odds
change might be on its way

to your surprise
you hold it by the hand
you no longer resist

like the ripples in a river
siding with its force
floating alongside
strong yet once again
on your own feet
you stand

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, 11.7.2019

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“life on fire”

life keeps burning into Earth’s core
gold-plated pen on imported paper . . .
insane politicians, disguised as humans
don their games of ultimate absurdity
against the wildest definition of sanity
each de-constructs, destroys and destructs
until their own brains shrink day by day
alongside ours, which we have obviously sent
onto lost grounds somewhere else to play

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, August 21, 2019

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“My Friend, the Wind”

take away the tears
take away the worries
they are Man-crafted, can you not see?

playgrounds were once meant for giggles
where have all the tummy-laughs gone?
what are we doing? What have we done?
broken promises, lost souls galore
tender hearts, unable to smile anymore

my friend, the wind sat down with me again
attempting to cleanse off of my core the pain
there used to be a time when a gentle breeze
felt aplenty to keep my aching mind at ease
the more i age the more i sink into a sorrow,
for hope is being rubbed from babies’ ‘morrow

take away the tears
take away the worries
they are Man-crafted, can you not see?

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, 8.9.2019

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not enough

ironing my emotions away
the past with the roughest bumps, that is
where i stumbled upon
many a defect, many a flaw
deep at my core, i now know
i was not enough

i am not enough

you have washed, ironed, sewed, cleaned,
cooked, baked, entertained, and turned on
that “everything will be just fine”-smile
on your gorgeously freckled face
regardless of time’s impatient pace
family and non-family alike
sought from you many an advice
you were never absent to us,
your most precious ones,
but you were also there for strangers
the poor, the homeless, the family-less
came to your forever-open heart
life stole you away too soon
you missed out on most of our lives
you missed out on your grandchildren’s delight
but for whoever neared your grace
you were enough
you were always enough
you were much more than enough

ironing my emotions away
the past with the roughest bumps, that is
where i stumbled upon
many a defect, many a flaw
deep at my core, i now know
i was not enough

i am not enough

you were given many an obstacle on your career path,
so many stepped on your shoulders to a higher status, a higher pay
she, your love, was robbed from you when too young
you stood by us with your love, holding our hands one by one
you lived for the sake of us also on her behalf
you worked hard, utterly hard with no relent
whatever you earned, you saved,
saved and saved again
thanks to you,
we both lived well
you were enough
you were always enough
you were much more than enough

ironing my emotions away
the past with the roughest bumps, that is
where i stumbled upon
many a defect, many a flaw
deep at my core, i now know
i was not enough

i am not enough

you quested for a profession
to help people with surgical needs
all along, smiled at the grueling hours of work
you multiplied your soul to those nearby and afar
even then when life gave you three cancers all at once
while taking from you your one and only daughter tenderly young
you still smiled, continued to don that beautiful smile on your handsome face
you were enough
you were always enough
you were much more than enough

ironing my emotions away
the past with the roughest bumps, that is
where i stumbled upon
many a defect, many a flaw
deep at my core, i now know
i was not enough

i am not enough

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, August 3, 2019

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