Category Archives: Reflections

“on a Mulberry tree”

as carefree as a bumble bee
i climb up the branches like one of the boys
we don’t have any of this in the city, you see
here, in Sinop, i know that i can be me, just me!

my new-found friends show me how to collect
those delicious looking dark red edibles
it is fun! So much fun! But i still hesitate
because i can’t forget how a tiny little bee
had given me a whale-size lump on my cheek
back home in Ankara, you see
from inside a paper bag, wrapped sneakily
disguised as seeded grapes,
as dark red as can be
the most favorite fruit of my sweet Baba
i learned how to put the Mulberries together
i learned all that in a short time and just fine
but i want to, no i just have to
make absolutely sure
that these cloth bags know how to protect . . .

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, 8.8.2019

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A Review of My Book, “this and that”

I would like to share with you the link to a book review I was rather late in discovering. I remain in utmost gratitude for the time and insight of scintilla.admin. For a writer to be read and understood to this extent is a cherished gift, one that I have not been able to reciprocate when the precious writings of many are concerned. I hope they will forgive me for allowing life to take over as far as priorities.

Book Review: this and that

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“My Friend, the Wind”

take away the tears
take away the worries
they are Man-crafted, can you not see?

playgrounds were once meant for giggles
where have all the tummy-laughs gone?
what are we doing? What have we done?
broken promises, lost souls galore
tender hearts, unable to smile anymore

my friend, the wind sat down with me again
attempting to cleanse off of my core the pain
there used to be a time when a gentle breeze
felt aplenty to keep my aching mind at ease
the more i age the more i sink into a sorrow,
for hope is being rubbed from babies’ ‘morrow

take away the tears
take away the worries
they are Man-crafted, can you not see?

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, 8.9.2019

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not enough

ironing my emotions away
the past with the roughest bumps, that is
where i stumbled upon
many a defect, many a flaw
deep at my core, i now know
i was not enough

i am not enough

you have washed, ironed, sewed, cleaned,
cooked, baked, entertained, and turned on
that “everything will be just fine”-smile
on your gorgeously freckled face
regardless of time’s impatient pace
family and non-family alike
sought from you many an advice
you were never absent to us,
your most precious ones,
but you were also there for strangers
the poor, the homeless, the family-less
came to your forever-open heart
life stole you away too soon
you missed out on most of our lives
you missed out on your grandchildren’s delight
but for whoever neared your grace
you were enough
you were always enough
you were much more than enough

ironing my emotions away
the past with the roughest bumps, that is
where i stumbled upon
many a defect, many a flaw
deep at my core, i now know
i was not enough

i am not enough

you were given many an obstacle on your career path,
so many stepped on your shoulders to a higher status, a higher pay
she, your love, was robbed from you when too young
you stood by us with your love, holding our hands one by one
you lived for the sake of us also on her behalf
you worked hard, utterly hard with no relent
whatever you earned, you saved,
saved and saved again
thanks to you,
we both lived well
you were enough
you were always enough
you were much more than enough

ironing my emotions away
the past with the roughest bumps, that is
where i stumbled upon
many a defect, many a flaw
deep at my core, i now know
i was not enough

i am not enough

you quested for a profession
to help people with surgical needs
all along, smiled at the grueling hours of work
you multiplied your soul to those nearby and afar
even then when life gave you three cancers all at once
while taking from you your one and only daughter tenderly young
you still smiled, continued to don that beautiful smile on your handsome face
you were enough
you were always enough
you were much more than enough

ironing my emotions away
the past with the roughest bumps, that is
where i stumbled upon
many a defect, many a flaw
deep at my core, i now know
i was not enough

i am not enough

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, August 3, 2019

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A HAIKU & Its Turkish and German Translations

impulses

one, then another
pain-filled pebbles on the road
where to go from here . . .

 

dürtüler

önce bir tane, sonra bir daha
acı-yüklü taşlar yolda
buradan nereye . . .

 

impulse

eine, dann noch eine
schmerz-gefüllte strecken
wohin von hier . . .

 

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, July 25, 2019

 

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“pictures”

i have been lulling my soul
to a sleep these days

i cannot decide
if my photo gallery
is a friend or a foe anymore
i memorize them time and time again

each picture ages you, Toruncanlarım,
so fast that i ache deep inside
for missing out on your heavenly smiles,
your whole-body “Grandma!” shouts,
your precious little feet, hurrying
to take my heart out in its yearning,
on its joy-dance with you two once more
amid your purity-scented hugs and kisses
and out-of-this-world sunshine-smiles

i have been lulling my soul
to a sleep these days
that i may wake up
to our olden times
and rejoice

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, April 10, 2019

POSTED.FBTimelinePhoto

[Photo Credit: My Daughter; Date: December 2013, right after my grandson’s birth. In this picture, he is resting on my shoulder . . . cut out of my respect for their privacy. As for my granddaughter, her birth happened so suddenly that I lack any pictures with her at the similarly early stages of her life. My poem is for and to both of them.]

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“ripples”

i am but a tiny ripple
in the water of life, oft moving too fast

“moving too fast”,
as Ryan Montbleau was singing
a few days ago on the road to New Mexico
i had heard that song before,
but its impact this time was profound
as i had been doing some soul-searching
for quite a while amid nature’s gorgeousness
his words reached deep within . . .

moving too fast as a tiny ripple
in the raging waters of life,
facing along the way many a strife
yet also many a sunshiny smile
countless ones given as a gift to me
and those i have been gifted with
to give unto others

still . . .
moving too fast as a tiny ripple
on the raging waters of life,
wishing all along that i had taken
each of my breaths only one sip at a time

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, 7.5.2019

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