. . .

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[Photo Credit: Self]

hand in hand with its clouds above
the mountain mist sheds its blanket
as if to invite me to eavesdrop
where three little black birds went astray
hours ago into their vast depth quietly

i inhale but hesitate to exhale
in my respect for this collective silence
even those Nature’s darling hyper minions
had tucked in their calm under their wings
who am i what on earth am i
to interrupt their cherished harmony

the remainder of last night’s snow
begins to take a nap high above and below

i sit then stand up next i want to jump
up onto the horizon of the self-revealing sky
to soar beyond eternity
in tight embrace of my third eye

hülya n. yılmaz, 3.7.2018

 

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. . .

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[Photo Credit: Self]

they faded away
into the mist above the mountain
little black birds of three
as small as my i lately appears to me

was it over there
where my near-sighted past aimed to see
or right here much farther away
at a distance anew
where today my mind dares to seek
an imagined door ajar
in the vastness of the land and its sky

little black birds of three
as small as i surely am to me
as small as we all are in reality
despite our effort-ed pretense

there is only one enormous entity
that is aware of our stature so miniscule
nothing at all next to the eternal grandeur
to continue to spread before and thereafter
behind us generations’ of lives later

the unfathomable expanse of the universe . . .

three little black birds
two little birds
one little bird

hülya n. yılmaz, 3.7.2018

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. . .

20180308_094621

[Photo Credit: Self]

sitting on the balcony
comforted by a sun-warmed chair
being kissed by the generous morning sun
soaking its reflections on the lake’s expansive air

the last day of this journey
promises countless others on my path

oh what a walk this one has already turned out be

do not wait up for me
you trials tribulations sorrows sadness
i will make this one worth my while
for each of the past ordeal-rich years

with steadfast trots
i will fly up through the sky
sing and dance there and below
in my own tiny but thus far strongest
ever so gigantic steps of my own beat
excluding all along from my dictionary
all words that distantly resemble defeat

hülya n. yılmaz, 3.8.2018

 

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“is what we call ours, ours?”

my life in Turkey was multi-colored
brown and dark brown were the most favorite hues
served inside delicately painted frailly little cups
they were devoured by the dearest indulging
who passed the age-limit
with flying collars

thanks to a multitude of gatherings
i watched joyfully time and time again
many rites of simple pleasure
and observed how my ancestors consumed
the thick strong- and bitter-looking taste
sweetened only by a delicious mix
of laughter-typhoons and mouth-watering
gentlest lullaby-like mesmerizing-ly gorgeous
collective-art of masterful story-telling
often a jamboree of exotically aromatic spices
materialized right before all the senses of the gathered
while they sip by sip went on to starvingly inhale
the short-lived though lastingly multi-layered hot vapor
that oozed through the syrup-attired
ready-to-be-painted-already walls
of our little but heart-heated home
all the way to my behind-the-doors dancing steps
then into my heart’s vast collection of inestimable memories

Turkish coffee
Ah!

soon after i graduated
to my loved ones’ passable grade in age
i accumulated all around me
an army of those intricately hand-made
ceramic art pieces . . . one by one
not even the slightest trace was left behind
of the dark matter that once belonged to their insides

worse!
i started to call them “mine”
resorting however with no waste of a second
to olden plausible lessons in my own defense
i riposted to my inner voice:
Turkish coffee was after all
solely in the custody of the Turks
besides . . .
everyone in my familiar
but also foreign vicinities knew
how it long ago was baptized as “ours”
having held on to the reign
for countless memorable years
so powerfully controlled
that the world still speaks of them today!

then . . .

i became
an older grown-up
and re-conceptualized:
what if that knock-out flavor
which offered itself to us to savor
and those magically aromatic spices in it
were never ours to claim as “ours”
but rather invented and toiled over
by civilizations of the long-forgotten past
not unlike the one of the Sabaeans whose Ma’rib
the hub-city of their regime’s middle epoch
that is largely claimed to have earned its fame
not only for its spectacularly built temples
and other monuments but also maybe more so
for its agricultural prosperity

“Turkish” coffee?
“Turkish” spices
that enhance its perception?

what if its creation
had nothing to do with Turkish-ness

what if its construct
was rooted in the Sabaean ancestry

what if . . .

what if
we stopped to care
about things so mundane
and would re-learn instead
our gifted one-and-only destiny
allowing thus to be immortally re-born
the intended core element of our original self
which many moons ago was the sole stronghold
of that which we, the people
of the so-called “modern” times
ever so dismissively
insensitively
ignorantly
dare to label as “humanity”?

© hülya n. yılmaz, 1.20.2018

[This poem is my third that appeared in the February, 2018 issue of The Year of the Poet, a monthly international anthology published by Inner Child Press. The Year of the Poet has its regularly contributing poets from various parts of the world and features between three and four new poetry writers every month. Now in its fifth year, this book showcases -outside its monthly changing featured poets, the poetic works of fourteen “permanent” writers. The book’s 2018 offerings have been conceived to highlight a different civilization each month. Accordingly, it serves also as a collective educational undertaking to offer insight into various aspects of civilizations of the past and present.]

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. . .

download

 

 

“Most people don’t realize that the mind constantly chatters. And yet, that chatter winds up being the force that drives us much of the day in terms of what we do, what we react to, and how we feel.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

If you are anything like I am, then you will immediately connect to this claim: At times, there is so much ‘chatter’ in my mind that my inner self is drained of any energy, which is best used in achieving internal peace. But then again, such effort turns me into a thought-driven being – one that is actually not being but rather becoming and trying to become constantly . . . How do you attain the delicate balance in-between?

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“the world’s timeline knows . . .”

they had to be noted
while their desert of sand
still chuckled in giggles
with their newborns’ tickles
but also drained out persistent tears
that were soaked by parents’ eternal fears

wars were aplenty back then

are you with me?
do you see what i see?
on second thought . . .
never mind!
forget about me!
just look
please take a good look
with your heart’s eyes however
holding on all along
to the hand of your conscience too
surely you will heed
the desperate call for a minute-long silence
in the face of the so-called
ancient times’ wholehearted embrace
of building legendary and timeless monuments
of constructing age-old destructions

oh, the broken spirits’ tears!
oh, those souls-burning tears!

wars are too plentiful today

© hülya n. yılmaz, 1.20.2018

[This poem appeared in the February, 2018 issue of The Year of the Poet, a monthly international anthology published by Inner Child Press. The Year of the Poet has its regularly contributing poets from various parts of the world and features between three and four new poetry writers every month. Now in its fifth year, this book showcases -outside its monthly changing featured poets, the poetic works of fourteen “permanent” writers. The book’s 2018 offerings have been conceived to highlight a different civilization each month. Accordingly, it serves also as a collective educational undertaking to offer insight into various aspects of civilizations of the past and present.]

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. . .

On the journey to myself I’ve been so many people.Indigo Williams

Indigo Williams.Spoken Word artist

I still am becoming “so many people” through my examinations and realizations of self, which reflects in its spiritual materialization time and again . . . Any thoughts?

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“love . . . what else is there?”

oh you dear little one
with gorgeous hope-eyes
which of them was robbed from you

ever so abruptly cruelly
in blood-chilling monstrosities

your mother or your father

maybe both

you are in hunger pains i know and as thirsty
as those war mongers’ obsession to slay
yet so helpless as they never seem to be

my entire being is craving
to cradle you into my body
back to your somewhat safe times
to sing to you inside all my insides
with the hope for a sedating deep sleep
to send you to your innocent dreams
so that they become you
or you them

i have just fetched
my dried-out mother’s milk
it will pour for i have willed it so
nourishing not only your tiny half-cut frame
but also the brutally smashed shards of your heart
an uncut diamond shattered before you were born

your wingless soul introduced itself to me
she too is invited to our feast

as for your angel-spirit
she was meant to fly up on high
so i let her free she now soars
above and beyond the sky
tucked in safely
in her safe haven

please don’t you crawl away in a rush
i do not want you to go there
not yet anyway

i am told
i am good at make-believe . . .

you can tell me how i did
when you and i once again meet

a deserved life of marvels is planted on your path
don’t you ever mind the vulgar stench of the killers

when compared . . .

(if such linking were sane
the scent that our dead and dying ooze
makes envious the newest blooms of the Sweet Pea

sleep my still unnamed little angel
sleep angelically as only you can do

my all-loving heart
and my determined mind
will know how to soothe
my for long unstoppable-y wailing soul
so that my mother-hands can knit
your receiving-blanket into an armor
invisible to the sadistic human beast

i will lay myself down next to you
i promise you i will not leave

until after your last breath . . .

you will at least face death
not in the hands of Man’s vomited filth
but rather in my love-arms

sleep Mother Earth’s untainted scream
and perhaps just perhaps in a dream
try to forgive me if you can
for all the deeds i could have done
but in my passionate paralysis did not do
and for all the miracles you had hoped i would proclaim
but in my emotive weakness have not done so

all that is anon left in me due to you for you
is the mighty strength to sway you in my womb
until forever onto your wasted pathway you must go

© hülya n. yılmaz (Revised from a 2017 poem and submitted to the international World Healing World Peace Poetry anthology to be published by Inner Child Press in April 2018, marking its fourth biennial publication)

As for this “I”, it still is striving to witness one day
that solely love rules in the world.

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. . .

“The most important thing in music is what is not in the notes.” ~ Pablo Casals ~

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“The world does not deliver […]”

“Stop worrying about your identity and concern yourself with the people you care about, ideas that matter to you, beliefs you can stand by, tickets you can run on. Intelligent humans make those choices with their brain and hearts and they make them alone. The world does not deliver meaning to you. You have to make it meaningful.”

~ Zadie Smith ~

CroppedImage680680-Zadie-Smith-Credit-Dominique-Nabokov-2012-website[1]

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While I agree with what I have concluded to be the gist of this statement -only we are responsible for lending/creating/imagining/discovering/etc. a meaning to living, there are certain conceptualizations with which I am not in agreement. (There, of course, is a good chance that I am reading too much into the intended message of the assertion quoted here. Still, I am set out to indulge myself in some furthering thoughts. I want to hope you will bear with me.)

Firstly, the reference to “identity” seems to be rashly dismissed. Is it not one’s identity that -in its evolving states -is the most essential work we have upon us, for us? A look at the Identity Theory brings to our attention; or rather, re-introduces the concept of “Consciousness“. How would we arrive at the capable state of ‘concerning’ ourselves “with the people [we] care about”, if we were to “[s]top worrying about [our] identity […]”? Is it possible for an individual to achieve ‘consciousness’ regarding others, if s/he were not aware of the self in the first place?

Then, there is the reference to “[i]ntelligent humans” who are singled out in their ability to “make [t]he world meaningful”, but, who is intelligent, according to which standards, according to whom, where? “The world”, after all, does not comprise a singular entity. From various regions of the globe, sets of established communities of the field of psychology have had and continue to have ongoing debates on the subject of Human Intelligence. Under their work of expertise, multiple theories have been conceived, designed, refined and advanced upon. None is a closed case as far as evidencing unanimously, let alone throughout the entire world what ‘human intelligence’ is, nor can such finding be claimed when the numerous past decades are concerned. 

I believe many of us would agree that [t]he world does not deliver meaning to [us]” and that “[we] have to make it meaningful.” However, the contention that such outcome depends on the intelligence of an individual appears to be an exclusionary thought process at its best.

Too psychological of a commentary? Perhaps. Then again, perhaps not. Would you like to spend some thought on it and then share your deliberations for all the readers’ sake but also for mine?

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