Plato is known to have described – “[w]ithin the human mind or soul” – Reason “as being the natural monarch which should rule over the other parts, such as spiritedness and the emotions (Source of the Quote).”
Yasutani Haku’un, “the first abbot of […] an independent lay organization of Zen practice[,]” has been quoted as having claimed the following on the same subject:
“It is probably possible to control the brain so that no thoughts arise, but that would be an inner state in which no creativity is possible.”
Knowing too well that I am oversimplifying the core matter of focus here, I still want to take the liberty of raising my title-question: Which life view have you been housing inside; that is, if you haven’t changed lanes?
Filed under Reflections
excessive now?
did one of them hit you in the heart again
do they already find you unnecessary
your shaky voice won’t let me be
with that beloved’s passing
last march had brought me my first regret
of having potted my roots here
my second followed today
when you almost apologized
for having lived this long
honoring your four siblings who died before you
adding how your youngest the only sister
still breathes together with her many grandchildren
whose longevity you then wished upon me
a faint hope for the women in our family
in all your ninety years
you grew up very little dad
loving but a self-centered man
high-maintenance
as the modern label goes
why did you have to catch up with it all
in one day
today
on the phone
i am not like them at all that you know
is that why you reassured me over and over
how well you are doing on your own all alone . . .
thirty years younger but i am unwell too many times
i also grew very little dad
loving but a self-centered one
perhaps not as high-maintenance
nonetheless a daughter of your essence
since the time our pillar collapsed
then much more recently
when you two fell apart
you have shifted to a deepness
he won’t come back he cannot
she however may return soon
it hasn’t been that long yet
why though are you in such hurry
with no fair warning in advance
but plenty of subtle goodbyes to me
are you telling yourself what i used to hear you say
“aloneness is reserved only for God”
please don’t you also rush while i’m so far away
i agonize over your loneliness
how it befell upon you this late in life
did you really not hear me well when i asked . . .
they are merely a few blocks from you
yet choose not to be there
and you already stopped forgiving yourself
while you grant them forgiveness in abundance
i just wish so very desperately
you wouldn’t have to hurt this much
that you could cease to grow up at once
and to forgive me for everything i couldn’t be for you
would you possibly throw in a sixty-year-long hug or two
hülya n. yılmaz, 2.14.2016
Photo Credit: Self
Geographic Location: Ankara, Turkey
Place: In front of the flat where I have lived from childhood to the age of 24
Filed under Poetry
Louise Glück, the 12th Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry (2003-2004), enchants with her following words on the impact of the involvement with art:
It seems to me that the desire to make art produces an ongoing experience of longing, a restlessness sometimes, but not inevitably, played out romantically, or sexually. Always there seems something ahead, the next poem or story, visible, at least, apprehensible, but unreachable. To perceive it all is to be haunted by it; some sound, some tone, becomes a torment – the poem embodying that sound seems to exist somewhere already finished. It’s like a lighthouse, except that, as one swims toward it, it backs away.
The seed of the desire of which Glück speaks has been in me for so long that the resulting anguish leaves me restive – always. I am then “haunted by some sound [and] some tone,” but the “already finished” poem withdraws itself from my embrace as I risk my soul by letting it draw near it.
It was the sound and the sight of a waltz this time that hurled me into the open sea with the teasing promise of a beacon after the reach of which that elusive object of ultimate fulfillment would await me.
While Andre Rieu‘s mesmerizing illumination of The Second Waltz by Dmitri Shostakovich has instantly refined that desired sensation in me of creating a poem, one never materialized before this week’s post. The following lines I have penned, however, suggest to me that I will not abandon the commitment I made to my yearning for it . . .
Filed under Reflections
. . . would have gotten along beautifully. In real life. For life . . .
When I first saw him several years ago in the Dublin Writers Museum – a few feet away from Hotel St George, the hotel at which I was staying, I had a sense of expansive familiarity from deep within. I knew a few details on his life and work prior to my visit to Ireland, but I had apparently overlooked among many of his portrait images the one that caught my attention in that museum. Not the world-famed writer but my first love was sitting right before me (well, um, . . . a little above my high-heeled height, hanging inside a spectacular frame on the large wall, all by himself). The resemblance had taken me by surprise. So much so that now that I think back I must have merely circled around my own axis, missing out on many of the other writers. Making a decent effort not to allow my eyes gaze away, or better yet, gawk at him. And only at him.
Today, we are still together. Oscar Wilde and I, that is. While an actual acquaintance with one another has (. . . as you may have suspected) never materialized, our connectedness is and will be everlasting. Because in his view of life I found what I desire mine to be. In fact, I have been yearning to attain such a state of being for too long. But now, I have a strong sign of encouragement from him, in the form of clipped reading materials I have re-discovered from under the bad news-budget planner-notebook of mine. And so, I am tempted to repeat this unique talent’s words:
“I don’t want to earn my living; I want to live.”
The question remains: Did he really afford to live? Then I dare even a shakier question: Can I ever afford the same? My financial spreadsheets are not undergoing a shake off-your negative load-diet anytime soon, after all . . .
Maybe, I just have to have an alive being-to-a ghost-conference call with him next time I am in Dublin . . .
![Oscar_Wilde_portrait[1]](https://hulyanyilmaz.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/oscar_wilde_portrait1.jpg?w=500)
Free Online Photo
Filed under Reflections
The following statement by OSHO didn’t have a chance of escaping my attention, nor was it able to prevent its being ripped out of an old desk calendar in which I found it:
“Be – don’t try to become.”
He is no longer among us. If he had been with the living still, he would have heard a persistent knock on the door of his residence. With me waiting to tap on it again. And again. For the claim is that he had attained spiritual awakening, as he details the process with his own words in “My Awakening” . . . Oh, how desperately I would attempt to learn from him how one can achieve that kind of stillness inside, to that ultimate extent . . . to abandon all effort “to become” and just to be. I would devour any word he may have been willing to say only for my sake. To teach me fast. Because I am pitifully tired of becoming. Aren’t you?
Filed under Reflections
…allow me to hear from you again in the same or similar way some of you have kindly done with specific reference to my multiple-week Sunday Reflections-series, “a note to self: if not wise, seek advice”? To find out that the series of mention was a “real good” idea for a blog post encouraged me to come to you today with this question. What would you like to read the most when my weekly writing endeavors are concerned?
Filed under Reflections
I want to thank you dear readers, visitors, followers for having stopped by my blog site with your clicks on “Like” or comments throughout the past years. Your presence is, of course, what made also the last year a remarkable time period for me when my writing passion is concerned. As an expression of my gratitude for your presence, I am sharing with you today the Annual Report by wordpress.com on my blogging in 2015. May 2016 greet you all with news and experiences of great health and spirit-lifting inspirations toward every aspect of life at large!
Filed under Reflections
…with full respect to the world-renowned author from whom I am quoting today: what is one to conclude when the “stillness” ‘within’ transforms into “a sanctuary to which” memories, adamant in their dedication to hurt yet refusing to be un-lived, “retreat at any time”…
“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time.” ~ Hermann Hesse
Filed under Reflections
A devoted supporter of peace and healing for humanity at large, Inner Child Press, Ltd has accepted submissions of poetry on the subject toward its third World Healing World Peace anthology. The new volume will be published in April 2016 for the National Poetry Month. The 2012 and 2014 volumes are available at the publisher’s website (given above) and at Amazon.com. A large number of writers made a commitment in the creation of this poetry anthology to voice their experiences, views, hopes and suggestions for continued deliberation on this critical matter of human life everywhere. Simply because:
“The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds.” ~ The Dalai Lama
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
Filed under Reflections
hülyaswritings 