when you hurt your loved one all the same
what difference does it make
if the intention was conceived in innocence
~ For my daughter, with my apologies of abundance (September 27, 2015)
when you hurt your loved one all the same
what difference does it make
if the intention was conceived in innocence
~ For my daughter, with my apologies of abundance (September 27, 2015)
Filed under Poetry
on the open sea
on a self-made galley of rotting planks
one hole races after another
only quick-sand at my disposal…
as for the welded-in rod…
it’s desperate
to make a companion of me
on its rusty hook i dangle…
on and on
~ September 20, 2015
Filed under Poetry
when a ring is not a quest for the “I do”
but rather a childlike passionate plea
to be enabled a sense of belonging
fi-na-lly
since when are predictability responsibility reliability
in the mutual extension of hardcore tenderness
no longer the base elements of ultimate intimacy
~ September 30, 2015
Filed under Poetry
a violent wind has blown in through the careless door
willingly it trapped itself within my four walls
not at all concerned about wearing itself out with time
nor eager to repair the travel path of its turmoiled home
when it was done with me
nothing was left beyond the flesh
a mere frame twisted to a selfless self
having prostrated itself on the mat of primal love
~ September 30, 2015
[Image Credit: Michelangelo Buonarroti, “Study of a Mourning Woman“]
Filed under Poetry
*E.E.
35 and more pounds later
the hole inside still refuses to cease fire
and it will not at all relent
unless one ceases to insist
…
in protest the body lets go
its frame already chronically ailed
no longer able to bear well the pain
*E.E: Emotional Eater (an abbreviation self-coined after the A.A. model)
For some, it is the alcohol; for others, food. Overusing it, that is. To numb acute sensations. Or to lessen the inborn high sensitivity of emotions when reacting to life. Bluntly put: being self-destructive. Due to the inability to accept rejection by an other [sic]. Or by one’s self.
Filed under Poetry
[Click for Photo/Image Credit]
Perhaps, you know the feeling: a moment in which a sad memory is triggered yet once again but meets a bitter-sweet attempt at a relief in the heart no matter how faint its plea…without you having realized a change in you toward emotional survival. For you are just too tired of the agony that has been bleeding out of the core of your being, dragging your original self to the open seas, trying in desperation to no longer hope against the apparent outcome…
i had never learned
how to sail a paper boat
in nature’s moving water
when i was little
throughout my adult life then
i suffered despondent beyond despair
clinging to my passions fervent dreams visions
begging the river around me to flow at my tending will
i the desperate fool for love am yet to set sail
to dissolve into the current of the sea
for i have been told about the harmony within each ripple
how it promises to ease what pains me to feel…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
8.23.2015
Filed under Poetry
my scream had been so loud
that i didn’t hear the silence
waiting still in angered calm
for the murderous pain to cease
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
7.30.2015
[Photo Credits: Self; Location: “Ada” in Sinop, Turkey]
Long ago, I read an article on “things” some of us find difficult to express when we communicate with others. Three of those simple words work as my post’s title today. At times, even an exceptionally loved one may withhold these few letters what to us mean comfort at moments of despair, like a reassuring whisper to re-pump the drying heart. Perhaps, articulating these love-filled sounds equates to that beloved a forced confession of feelings of guilt, fault, blame or acceptance of an unwanted judgment. If only it weren’t for one fact: when there is love, there is no need for defense. For, there can be no intended offense.
I have no further deliberations on the subject – at least nothing I find worthy enough as far as a personal thought in prose to share with you here. Instead, I have jotted down some reflective lines in the form of a hopeful poem:
the fragile soul had never been undressed this way
nor can it ever again
for it has decided to be a once-only lover
it should have known not to attempt a fatal risk
still it hasn’t regretted being so bare
before the one for whom it had stripped itself
of hopes expectations
guilt blame fault
judgments
the innermost turbulence yet trashed it apart
with as violent a tearing from its core as can be
into a blindness of the temporary kind
the ego blamed guilted the other
dared to hope and to expect
not even massive masses of tears sufficed
to revive it from its raging death
from the beloved then it borrowed a new breath
stillness of the soul thus was demanded to prevail…
on its torturous path of an onus yet
it now opts in vain to regain courage
toward an ajar if not an open gate
for peace and salvation per the latest request:
not expecting
nor blaming
not faulting
nor guilting
not hoping
nor judging
just being dead
as needed by all
but the dying soul itself
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
8.3.2015
Filed under Poetry
[Image Credit: CRUNCHPICS.COM]
my eyes in their fading shine
mistake specks of soil for something they are not
for fear to step on an ant
lest my shoe’s sole falls on one
but not hard enough for a merciful death
how then am i going to let die
a love of divine essence
one gasp for air at a time…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
7.30.2015
Filed under Poetry
[Image Credit: Lover of Sadness]
gecelerin koynuna girerken
özlemine yaralarımı seriyorum
can yandıkça yanıyor
gündüzler ateş pahası…
while i slip to the bosom of the nights
i spread my scars upon the urge i have for you
the soul aches and aches
days are ablaze in their rarity…
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Written and translated to English on 6.26.2015
Filed under Poetry