thinking of mom again
my routinely composed beloved
she is too beautiful not to be so
my in-love dad would say…
a no harm-intended frame of mind
the most vicious version of it though
has been ruling over women
in a tragically fallen Turkey today
dancing the Kozachok
on the beach-road of Erdek late one night
my brother
back in the bungalow
deep asleep
i on the other hand
back then an utterly free essence
in eager applauses
too big for my yet-to-grow hands
exalting to my heart’s content
the no-curfew-months of all summers
ever so ecstatic of my standing ovation
the sea
ahhh
the back-then spectacular sea
with all of her well-aged
head over the heel for her-trees intact
was too admiring mom’s graceful frame
keeping the slightest breeze
in a grip ever so tight
with not even one ripple in sight
lest mom’s step would miss
not even one ripple in sight?
oh this is nothing!
i surely did exaggerate
adorably manipulate
reality a little bit
way back when
mom seemed to me
as if she was caught inside a trawl
willingly laughingly uninhibitedly
living only by being
i cannot remember another moment
when she had let herself just be…
© hülya n. yılmaz, 3.14.2017