whenever “tongue-tied”…

yılmaz-değirmenci1-profile

Being “tongue-tied” is, as we all know, a medical condition. My intent of using it today has nothing to do with medicine, however: I seem not to be able to express in words the heaviness my heart is under, for a loved one is being missed in sensory pains.  What happens to us, when we get “tongue-tied” as far as our emotional beings? With me, nothing else will do but to resort to a translation of what comes closest to articulating my self’s dilemma at the time.  So, for today, what I have for us is my (idiomatic) translation of “Vazgeçilmezimsin” by Yılmaz Değirmenci  (b. 1975) – a highly moving poem, when I am concerned.  I hope you will let me know what you think of it…

Vazgeçilmezimsin

Vazgeçilmezimsin
Hem günah hem kutsal olan şarap misali içilmezimsin
Gözümün önünde saklı bir sır gibi görünmezimsin
Hiçbir kitapta geçmeyen kelime anlamında bilinmezimsin
İdam mahkûmunun son isteği kadar özlenenimsin
Şafak gününü bekleyen asker heyecanıyla gözlenenimsin
Gün doğdu mu?
Vakit geldi mi?
Ayrılık sona erdi mi?
Hasret gerçekten bitti mi?
Bu hastalıksa ben bunla mutluyum
Ölene kadar inan ki umutluyum
Sen benim kutsal çilemsin
Vazgeçilmezimsin

You are one I will not give up

You are one I will not give up
Like wine, sinful but holy as well, you are not to be consumed
As if a secret hiding right before my eyes, you cannot be seen
You are my unknown, in the sense of a word no book has ever written
As strong of a longing as the last wish of a death row inmate
The one I ache for as excited as a soldier awaiting the break of dawn
Has the day been born?
Is it time?
Did separation come to an end?
Is longing really over?
If this is an illness, I am happy about it
Believe me, I will be full of hope until my death
You are my holy ordeal
You are one I will not give up

2 Comments

Filed under Reflections

2 responses to “whenever “tongue-tied”…

  1. Very poignant poem. I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing. Sending a special cyber hug.

    Like

    • I am glad you thought also for that to be so. As for your cyber hugs: I so much like and appreciate them, never taking them for granted. May I send some back to you, to reciprocate? I promise I’ll rid mine of any negativity first…

      Like

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