I called for help…(Non-fiction)


The last time I checked – toward the end of the July 22-week, there were 647 followers of my blog site.  As of Friday, July 26: 62.   Just late spring of this year (May 24, 2013, to be exact), I had expressed my thanks with a post announcing my surprise of having 540 readers.  In other words: the high number was not a game of my imagination!   My first thought on this head-spinning disappearance of a substantial number of my readers was: what have I done?  There, of course, is no answer to this question.  Only those readers now no longer with me would know.  This fact didn’t stop me from seeking an answer, though, as to what I may have done to cause their dis-interest in my writing.  Hence, my efforts – in no comparison whatsoever – to find a formula among a circle of writers with advice to give, posthumously or otherwise.

My first visit was to Emily Dickinson for her oft-cited thoughts on writing: “Saying nothing sometimes says the most.”  Had I been saying too much?  And of nothing, at that?

Then, Daphne du Maurier came to my mind for a quote I have seen recently:  “Writers should be read, but neither seen nor heard.”

I wondered…had Dame du Maurier been living in our times, would she have erased her profile picture…?  Or refused to have her voice taped under any and all circumstances…? (And, I shall keep wondering about whether I even understood her statement at her level of intent…)

I found myself paying particular attention to Anne Lamott for her following lines of words, perhaps because she lives in our times:

“Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul. When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again. It’s like singing on a boat during a terrible storm at sea. You can’t stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on that ship (From: Bird by Bird).”

Have my posts been too much about “the absurdity of life” with which I have been ‘squashing’ you all “by it over and over again”?

The words below by Paulo Coelho left me with a sad reminder of the newly lifted warmth of my 585 readers:

“[…] I’m sincerely moved by the beautiful words of wisdom that my readers share with me. In a way the Internet is enabling the writer to no longer be alone, to debate ideas, to share information and to get inspired by the readers (From an interview).”

Then the critic Cyril Connolly had my attention, as he was known for his idiosyncratic opinions on writing: “Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self (From: GoodReads).”  I believed I had been writing without any separation of one from the other…

My mind took me also to Jack Kerouac, the unconventional author who is said to have claimed the following regarding the written word: “Write in recollection and amazement for yourself (From: GoodReads).”

While I have been creating work in “recollection” for ‘myself,’ I have not been posting any as long as I can now think back.  Regards the “amazement for one’s self, I have no such expectations nor do I hold on to any hopes when I, as a writer, am concerned.

Leaving on my imaginary time and space capsule, I finally arrive at the door of Horace to whom the following wisdom is attributed: “Often you must turn your stylus to erase, if you hope to write anything worth a second reading (From: Satires). ”  There are numerous reasons as to why I can’t erase or modify my ‘stylus’ as of yet…

Knowing my reality against the backlash of all advices I compiled here from an intimate gathering of authors, I decide to resort to a reassuring thought by Henry Miller:

“Writing is its own reward (From: GoodReads).”

Regardless of how many or how few of us – readers and writers alike – may gather on my blog site from this time on forth, I will, thus, continue to write and do so in the same manner as I have done for all this time: from the heart.   I can only hope some of you will still be here for me to share the passion I have for writing to such extent.


Filed under Reflections

9 responses to “I called for help…(Non-fiction)

  1. Dear Hulya,

    There is a song by Rabindra Nath Tagore – first non-European to win the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1913, its called ‘Ekla Chalo Re’ (‘Walk Alone’). It was originally written in Bangla ‘Jodi Tor Dak Shune Keu Na Ase Tobe Ekla Cholo’ and its english translation goes like this ‘If no one responds to your call, then go your own way alone’

    If no one responds your call, Then walk alone, walk alone my friend.
    If no one talks to you, O my unlucky friend, if no one speaks to you,

    If everyone looks the other way and everyone is afraid,
    Then bare your soul and let out what is in your mind, Speak alone my friend.

    When dark clouds cover the sky, When darkness engulfs the truth,
    When the world cowers and bows before fear,
    You be the flame, The flame that burns you and banishes darkness from the world, Burn alone my friend.

    Here is a you-tube link to the song in Bangla, listen to it if you have some spare time, I know you would love it.



    • Dear bhuwanchand, how I enjoyed what you are teaching me here! I am replying with much appreciation to you. You have my gratitude! This week, at least my intensive teaching ends. I will make time to listen to the song of your reference, and am already very much looking forward to it! Wishing you the best in everything, hülya


    • p.s. some people downsize because they feel overwhelmed and stop following blogs they aren’t in active contact with, not because they didn’t enjoy them but rather to help them navigate their Reader. I am here with you and happy for it. Hugs, Paulette


      • Dear Paulette, thank you for both your comments and for taking the time to stay after your visit here! And that, despite the fact I haven’t been there for your site for a while now. Please know I routinely check on my reader about your posts. As for your presence here, I know you are always there, a precious gift from you to me. You have a very good point about everyone being overwhelmed with the amount of blog posts on cyberspace. I feel very fortunate I have a readership in the first place (for the lack of a much better term). Hugs also from me to you and best wishes! hülya


  2. Thank you Hulya…for your post today. I am mystified by the change in numbers…but please keep on doing what you do – write with eloquence and style. I thoroughly enjoy your thought provoking posts!


    • Dear Kathy, you’ve heard me say this before, and many times at that: I so very much appreciate your continued and enthusiastic support of my written word. While I have posted for today my deliberations on the ‘mystifying’ development, I have already recovered from it because I love writing to the extent that I will do so no matter what happens, here or elsewhere where my writing has been or will be exposed to a readership. When I write, I always feel like I am talking to a dear soul sitting across from me – having an interactive conversation of some nature. And that sense is worth my efforts to keep presenting compositions in coherent, cohesive, hopefully, a thought-provoking and meaningful manner.


  3. Tatsat

    Well… blogverse is difficult to understand Hulya. I am not saying you can’t, but if you ask me, its an effort in futility. To add to what you said in last paragraph, it is a choice of the reader whether to be here or not. What we are, is what we are. The choice is with them 🙂

    Moreover, blogging is different from other forms of reading, as I have realised. Here people come around, hoping a reciprocation in return. As I hardly do that, not much traffic on my site either 😛 Plus, I happen to prune my reading list very often, which make matters worse.

    I know I might not be the smartest of folks around, but you definitely are someone I have come to listen closely. Your writings, which I do not have much idea at times, gives something to expand my understanding. And, you make amazing conversations 🙂

    Come to think of it, I remember a question my English literature teacher raised in her first lecture ( I am an aerospace engineering graduate and it was an elective course in last semester ):
    Whether literature exists for the pleasure of readers, OR does it exist for its own sake ?
    As fate would have it, you are living that question- answering it your own signature style 🙂


    • Dear Tatsat, I fear I can’t express in adequate terms how much I appreciate not only your visits with my writing but also taking time – so very precious at our day and age – to comment with such warmth, support and guidance as well as solid words toward my learning. You make many excellent points, one of them being the expectation of “reciprocation”: I lack in that area significantly. Not because of lack of interest but due to a self-imposed standard: if I can’t comment from the heart, for which I need calm time for the reading, I don’t leave any feedback. You also make another important point: what our writing should be about, for us. Yes, we are writing on a public platform but we all start doing so for the act of being able to write. To see our own written voices, so to speak. The anecdote you bring up here about your English literature teacher is an age-old question. I carry that over when I teach German literature and did so in the past, when I taught (advanced beginners/intermediate) Turkish literature. As you stress, we can only write upon our own conceptualization of the written word’s meaning, function, value, etc. Thank you, thank you for your time, for your deliberations, for your very kind words about my writing voice.


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