“Hello, Brother!”

i have been reading and reading
in a vain attempt to comprehend
the blatantly apparent hatred
behind the brutal killing of the late,
so i caved in to the comments’ content
under shared posts of mostly hate

to a dark place thus my spirit has left

then, i read again:
“A Muslim worshipper among the first people
to be killed in New Zealand’s worst ever
mass shooting” was being quoted
as having “greeted the murderer
at the entrance of the mosque
just moments before he was shot dead.”
. . .

“Hello, brother!”

then, i read again:
“Mosque attacks suspect gives
‘white power’ sign in Christchurch court”,
accompanied with a ‘smile’
. . .

“Hello, brother!”

i heard my ego-less self say to him,
“what, who hurt you so much
that you show no remorse about
what you have just done?”

then, i offered him a hug
with as much love as i could spare,
for i had been direly yearning
to make some sense, any sense
of his violent acts of despair,
for i needed to refute for myself at all cost
his being was merely that of a soul lost
. . .

a smile, however bitter, followed my offering,
along with the words of his first kill:
“Hello, brother!”

i now think and realize . . .
my voice came out more like a shrill
still, i feel that this humane version of me
presents to me an incomparably bigger thrill
hate took him over the threshold of the sane
as for me, i know i desperately want to remain
on this side, where love will help me sustain

(c) hülya n. yılmaz, 3.16.2019

~ ~ ~

I was prompted to write this poem upon finding out the news on March 15, 2019 about the “two consecutive terrorist attacks at mosques” (Wikipedia) in Christchurch, New Zealand. After some soul-searching, I realized that I needed to suppress my own feelings of hatred, and made an attempt to approach the terrorist’s acts with peace. Have I been successful? Yes, as far as the hatred part. I would most prefer to love than hate. Still, this test was extremely difficult to bear . . .