Break over . . . Ara bitti . . . Die Pause ist nicht mehr . . .

. . . I am back although I couldn’t make it on time to my 7:00AM slot . . .

[Recycled image]

. . . have always been intrigued
by the well-known last words
or better yet
for whichever reason
many avoid calling them for what they are
regrets

no exceptions
too soon or not
each of us must hand over to death
dear ones who have given us
an all-encompassing love
whom we loved beyond that
which charades as life

or

have we really?

how many counts
on our attendance record
when ready and willing
we stood by their turns of hardship

i love you because you are you
you are my grandchild
you are my child you are my child
my fragile-psyched in bubbles raised niece
my pearl-hearted sister’s precious heir
my mother’s alike my sister’s alike my daughter’s alike
my older sister though not in blood
my sweet forgiving long-time friend
my gentle-souled beloved short-time friend
my accidental acquaintance-friend
my mother-in-law
my mother my babies’ grandmother
with all your flaws
with all your fears
with all your insecurities
with your self-defined selfish self
come inside my everlasting embrace
it is opened again and again for you
i love you
i just do

and then
they are gone
some
to eternity
others
deep into our erroneous past

life of their molding for our sakes
earth we thought entailed a world
the ground shaping our treks
having fooled us before
with its disguise of solidity
is no more

so we get swept away

from what seemed to be an indestructible fort
into the raging squalls of a river
that rushes to join with its sea
with no mercy

and are engulfed by constant undertows

we manage to stay afloat
long enough
to ask for their forgiveness

in the final moment
we remember
time never waits for any of us
to say i’m sorry to each soul we hurt
we remember
that there is no grace period for the span
between our first and last breath

© hülya n. yılmaz, 10.5.2016