Tag Archives: diary

Pedrito’s 30 Days with ICE.Fictional Memoir

Pedrito’s Diary, Day 17

February 7, 2025

At dinner time, we looked for Mr. Matias. He wasn’t there, so we picked up our food from another table. “HURRY UP,” yelled a guard, “we don’t have all night!” Dinner was the same as many times before, 1 banana, 1 slice of bread, and a bottle of water. “The water must last you until tomorrow evening,” he reminded us.

Also this time, off to the cold concrete we went. Also this time, off to the boulder we went. We all missed our families a lot. We talked for a little bit about our families. The brothers spoke about their sister, Lucette. “Where did they take her? Is she okay? Does she also sleep on a concrete floor? Does she have a blanket at least?” Each of them had a question. Sadness was all over their faces. Even little Jesu looked sad when he heard his older brothers speak about Lucette. “I have the same questions every day and every night,” I joined their talk, and then hugged Gabriel as if he was my sweet little sister Gabriela. “I often dream about Mama and Papa,” I added, “twice, my dream felt so real that I even talked to Mama out loud because I thought she was actually here.” I heard all the brothers sigh. We then said “good night” to each other, and settled in our small places on the floor. Gabriel scooted over to my spot more so than other nights.

I stayed awake for a while. I had many questions on my mind again. What will tomorrow be like? Will we get beds? Will they start giving us lunch? Will there be more food for dinner?

Will we ever get to see our families again? I really want to go back home.

© hülya n. yılmaz, February 18, 2025

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Pedrito’s 30 Days with ICE.Fictional Memoir

Pedrito’s Diary, Day 14

February 4, 2025

I was feeling very tired and cold. I lied down but not on my blanket like I did almost every night so far. I put it over me this time. My body was aching all over. The cold concrete floor made me ache even more. I badly needed to sleep. In my sleep, I wouldn’t feel the cold. Also, maybe I could dream about Mama again.

I woke up to my little friend’s voice: “Pedrito, we are all going to the boulder. Do you need to pee?” I hadn’t eaten anything, and I didn’t drink from my water. “No, Gabriel. Thank you. You all go ahead. I’m going to try to sleep more.” Gabriel rushed to the brothers with a quick “You’re welcome!”

I fell asleep again. “Pedrito, my darling, are you okay?” Mama was in my dream again. “Mama, I feel sick,” I told her. “My poor darling! Think about your warm bed in our home, and remember how I took care of you and Gabriela whenever both of you were sick.” I woke up with tears on my face. I remembered how Mama would make us a delicious winter soup when my sister and I were sick at the same time. She would sit by us until we finished the thick soup, then she would cover us with our thick comforters.

I looked at the puny blanket over me. The cement floor was making me feel very cold all over again. How was Gabriela doing, I wondered. Was she eating? Was she sleeping? Did she have children by her who were caring like the brothers? I felt desperate to see her but there was nothing I could do.

I just could not understand why people were doing this to our family. Who was doing this? Why were Mama and Papa taken away from Gabriela and me? Why couldn’t Gabriela and me stay together? Why do we have to sleep on the floor? Why do we have to use the big boulder as a toilet? Why are we not getting regular food? When is this all going to end?

My tears flooded down my chin.

© hülya n. yılmaz, February 14, 2025

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Pedrito’s 30 Days with ICE.Fictional Memoir

Pedrito’s Diary, Day 13

February 3, 2025

“Pedrito, time to sleep, my darling.” I was crying all night long. I sat up, looked around but couldn’t see Mama. It was her voice. “Mama, where are you? I missed you so very much!” I heard her voice again: “My darling Pedrito, we are all fine, your Papa, me, and your little sister.” I stood up and looked around again. Mama wasn’t anywhere. I started crying harder. I must have dreamed the whole thing. How could she be here? I saw how she and Papa were forced out of the van that night. I also saw how Gabriela and I were harshly separated from each other.

I lied down. All I could hear now was my sobbing. I closed my eyes tightly and hoped to have the same dream. The next thing I know was the loud announcement on the megaphone. We were told to form our lines for breakfast. My stomach was still hurting, not too much, just a little. I didn’t know if I could eat anything.

The brothers were all ready to do their daily walk toward food. Gabriel was still asleep. I gently touched him on the shoulder and told him that we had to get our breakfast. He had a hard time first gathering himself but then he was quickly ready to get on his feet. I picked up my food to give it to Gabriel in our corner.

While the brothers and my little friend were eating, another announcement came through the megaphone: “ATTENTION EVERYONE! Today, army cot beds might be delivered. We’ll tell you if they arrive as scheduled. Be ready for further instructions!”

© hülya n. yılmaz, February 13, 2025

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