Tag Archives: cruelty

Pedrito’s Diary, Day 25

February 15, 2025

We woke up to the voice on the megaphone: “This morning’s bathroom clean-up boys are Julio and Gabriel. Go to the bathroom on the left right after your breakfast! The cleaning supplies are already there.”

Gabriel looked at me and asked anxiously: “What do I do, Pedrito? I don’t know ‘Julio’.” I answered him in a calm voice: “Gabriel, remember what Mr. Matias said!” He gave me a smile, and said, “oh, yes, yes!” He then held my hand. He looked very confident on our way to pick up our food.

We hurried up and finished our breakfast, then rushed to the bathroom on the left in the back of the building. A boy about 10 or 11 years old was standing by the bathroom door. “Julio, right?” I said and stretched out my hand to greet him. He didn’t even look at me, and just grumbled. Then he took a few steps toward Gabriel, and said: “Hola, enano! Tú empiezo!” I thought that I was hearing wrong, “Hey, midget! You start!”

I interfered in a loud voice: “His name is Gabriel! And he is little because he is only 4 years old! By the way, Gabriel is not going to do anything here. You and I will!” This boy was obviously not going to be easy to work with. “Why is that? Is he handicapped?” He asked. I almost lost my patience with him but answered calmly, stressing each word: “Didn’t you hear Mr. Matias? He said that older children are allowed to help the little ones. That’s why.”

Julio didn’t say anything else after that. I told Gabriel to stand outside the bathroom door, and just watch us. I picked up the bucket full of water, the rag that was on the handle, and a second bucket that was empty. Julio took the mop and the rag that was on the sink. We both first stood inside the bathroom for a while, not knowing what to do and how to work this out.

The smell was so horrible that I thought I was going to throw up. The sink was small and attached to the wall by the door. It was filled with dried up puke. About a week before we were taken away from our home, Gabriela had gotten very sick and threw up several times. I had stood by her while Mama cleaned her up. That was the only time when I saw puke, but now, here, in this sink, it was everywhere.

I looked around and saw a faucet close to the floor, sticking out of the largest wall. A hose was attached to it. Julio was just standing by the wall opposite the door without moving. He was obviously avoiding the large, disgusting looking puddle in front of the toilet tank. However many boys used the bathroom last, they missed the toilet and peed and did a #2 on the floor.

I walked closer to Julio but I also avoided stepping in that stinky puddle. With no lid on the toilet, we both could easily see the brown, dark brown and dark green #2s inside. Once again, I felt like I was going to throw up, and this time, I did. I rushed to the sink where I puked.

When I felt a bit better, I noticed that Julio was using the water from the hose to push all the #2s into the hole on the floor right behind the toilet tank. (Actually, it wasn’t a hole but a square opening.) Julio made several rounds of the same work until that sickening puddle disappeared. Then, he mopped the same area wet with one hand, while keeping the hose in his other hand.

After Julio cleared the floor, I went to the toilet tank. A string with a small round metal was hanging from what looked like a pipe. I pulled on it carefully. A little bit of water began to swirl. I pulled the string again but harder this time. More water became visible inside the toilet. Then Julio flushed several more times. Finally, it was time for us to use our rags.

Julio opened the faucet of the sink and let the water run for a long time. (Water was running well in that part of the bathroom.) He then put his rag under the water and soaked it real good. After that, he swiped the sides of the toilet tank and the toilet seat. He did that 3 times. When he was done, I got my rag completely wet and carefully swiped every part of the sink.

We looked around the bathroom one more time, and then, at each other, silently concluding that we did well with our chore for today. We could not find any soap to wash our hands. I still felt relieved but I very much dreaded the next time. This was a lot of work.

Gabriel had been waiting for us patiently. A guard was standing next to him, and said: “You see the man in uniform at the end of this hallway, take everything to him. Your work is done for today.”

“Are you okay, Pedrito?” Gabriel asked me with curious eyes. “I am OK, Gabriel, but I am tired. I want to rest a little. Could you please go with the brothers to pick up your lunch?” I saw disappointment in his huge eyes. Still, he was so very sweet to tell me, “okay, Pedrito. You rest, okay?”

© hülya n. yılmaz, March 5, 2025

Pedrito’s Diary, Day 24

February 14, 2025

Gabriel and I just sat on my bed without saying a word. I missed my little sister, Gabriela so very much. I missed Mama and Papa too. I couldn’t share my sadness with any of the brothers. They were also separated from their sister and their parents. As for Gabriel, this entire situation was probably the hardest on him being an only child. After he screamed in protest that he wants to go home, I understood even more how he felt. He found a home in me. He wouldn’t let me go even at nighttime.

A guard whose voice I didn’t recognize made the dinner announcement. I was getting quite hungry. If I were at home, Mama would feed us with yummy goods after school. That way, we didn’t feel starved until dinner. Then I thought that we were at least going to get lunch here.

The same guard spoke into the megaphone again: “ATTENTION EVERYONE! Starting tonight after dinner, you will have bathroom duties every day. 2 of you at a time will clean 1 bathroom. We will call out the names only once. Partners will stay the same every day and night. As soon as you hear your name, you will quickly go where the bathrooms are.”

I immediately thought of Gabriel and Jesu. They were so little. How could they clean up, if they were called out together?

Right then, I heard Mr. Matias’ voice on the megaphone: “Listen, you all. The older children are allowed to help the little ones with their bathroom duties.”

I was relieved to hear this arrangement. Gabriel and Jesu are after all too little to do any cleaning on their own. So, each time when it’s Gabriel’s turn, I would go with him. He can just watch me, and I will do what they require us to do. Jesu was more fortunate with 3 brothers.

All of us wondered if any of us had to clean a bathroom tonight. We picked up our dinner, started eating right away, then waited to hear the names for tonight’s cleaning. None of us had his turn this time.

At home, I was never forced to do any chores. Mama and Papa never expected Gabriela to help around the house either. I thought, once I clean a bathroom here, I would know how it’s done. When I’m back home again, I can show my parents that I am grown enough to do some chores. That thought made me smile. Mama and Papa would be so proud of me!

© hülya n. yılmaz, March 4, 2025

Pedrito’s Diary, Day 23

February 13, 2025

We were in the new facility for about 1 hour when an announcement came through the megaphone: “ATTENTION EVERYONE! Start moving toward my voice, 1 of you at a time. You are to form 4 lines. There are 4 tables here with your lunch. After you pick up your food, go quickly back to your spot.”

We were going to have lunch! I was so excited about this extra meal! They gave us 1 hard-boiled egg, 1 slice of bread with yellow cheese on it, and 1 bottle of water. They didn’t tell us our water had to last until tomorrow evening. They had told us that in the other hangar. The older brothers and me exchanged smiles. I’m not sure if Gabriel and Jesu understood what this meant. Once they saw the food, they would know.

We picked up our food and water and went back to our beds. I thought about the cold of the floor we sat and slept on all those days and nights before coming here. A bed to sit on felt so very good! Also, they gave us lunch here, and with much food. We never had lunch in the other hangar, and never these many items for our breakfasts or dinners.

All the new things here made me so very happy. I could see that everyone in our “Brothers’ Club” was feeling the same joy.

I finished my meal fast and drank some of my water. This time, I didn’t need to worry about not having enough water all the way until tomorrow evening. Everyone in our group started chatting happily after lunch. With Gabriel by my side on my bed, I made a list of what we had new here: A bed for each of us, 2 bathrooms inside, lunch with much food, and a bottle of water (not for almost 2 days but only for 1 day). “Awesome!” I said out loud. “What is awesome?” Alejandro asked. “We have many good things in THIS place. THAT is awesome!” I answered.

Just then, Gabriel shouted – he had never shouted before: “Why are you saying ‘awesome,’ Pedrito? Nothing is awesome! I WANT TO GO HOME!”

I hugged him and whispered to him softly: “Me, too, Gabriel. Me, too.”

© hülya n. yılmaz, March 3, 2025

Pedrito’s Diary, Day 22

February 12, 2025

We were all smiles on our way to the busses. Gabriel never let go of my hand, and Jesu was holding on to Diego’s hand. All 6 of us got into the bus a guard pointed out for us. Mr. Matias was the last person to get into our bus. He sat in the seat behind the driver, looked at us, and gave us a smile. The bus started to move right away.

It was getting dark outside. There were no lights inside the bus. It felt like our nighttime routine. Gabriel had his head on my lap, and fell asleep first. I could barely keep my eyes open. We were told earlier that the ride would be long. So, I settled a bit more in my seat. I thought that it wasn’t going to be difficult for me to fall asleep this time. The next thing I know, the bus had stopped, and it was light outside.

I then heard the guard in the back speak: “We are there. Back row, start moving toward the front of the bus 1 of you at a time! Get out and form a line behind the guard on the side of the road. Everyone in the front of the bus will leave last.”

We did exactly like we were told. There was a long line of us now on the side of the road. Mr. Matias and the guard who made the announcement came out last. They and the guard outside started walking toward a large building nearby. “Follow us,” said Mr. Matias, and we did.

It was a short walk to the building that looked like an airplane hangar just like the other one. Many more guards were waiting in front of it by a sliding gate. The gate was open, and we were instructed to go in without losing our lines. Once we were in, I saw that this hangar had windows close to the very high ceiling. I got excited to see beds. I wondered if the children who stayed behind were also going to get beds.

“ATTENTION EVERYONE! Find a cot bed and put your blankets down.” We did exactly like we were told. We took 3 beds against the wall and 3 right next to them. Our blankets were now on top of our beds. “Pedrito, I need to pee,” said Gabriel. Jesu was just telling Diego the same thing. “Let’s see what we must do,” said Diego. There were many guards all around. Diego and I held the little ones’ hands and walked toward one of them. “Sir, our little brothers need to pee. What do we do?” The guard pointed to the back of the building, and said, “There are 2 bathrooms inside, 1 on the far left, and one on the far right. Get in line in front of any one of them. Many of you wanted to pee. Wait for your turn.”

We were close to the one on the left. It didn’t take long to have our turn. “Diego, I really really need to pee,” begged Jesu. So, Diego rushed him to the other bathroom while I stayed with Gabriel where we were. After he was done, I went in just to see what the bathroom looked like. There was a strong pee smell, but this toilet was much much much better than the boulder we had to use for our #1 and #2 in the other hangar. Also, we all had beds now!

© hülya n. yılmaz, February 23, 2025

Pedrito’s Diary, Day 21

February 11, 2025

“Where is my name, Pedrito?” Gabriel asked me. How could I tell him that he will have to stay here? I took a few breaths. I hugged him then. “My darling Gabriel, they won’t allow you to come with me,” I told him. “Why?” He wanted to know. “Jose and Jesu will be with you,” I mumbled. I didn’t have the answer to his question. He slowly fell to the floor and started to bawl. “MAKE IT QUICK! MOVE ALREADY!” A guard hollered. Gabriel continued to cry inconsolably. I couldn’t do anything for him. I followed the guard’s order.

Alejandro, Diego and I got into line to get on the bus. I could still hear Gabriel’s loud crying and sobbing. The hangar was now half empty and I could see Jose, Jesu, and Gabriel huddled together in our usual spot. They were facing us and Jose was hugging both little ones. Jose had to hold them tightly because they were trying to get free to join us.

I turned my head around again. I was also crying, and I didn’t want Gabriel to see me like this. “NOW WALK SLOWLY TO THE FRONT GATES!” The same guard told us. The 3 of us took very small steps. We had bowed our heads down. Then a loud different voice said, “WAIT!” We all looked up. It was Mr. Matias! That nice guard was back. I couldn’t believe what happened next.

“Hi, kids. Where is the rest of you?” He asked. We pointed to the spot where we left our other 3 dear friends. Mr. Matias waved both of his hands to them and signaled Jose, Jesu and Gabriel to come over to him. They immediately did. “Just wait here. I’ll be right back.” He said and quickly walked to the gates, then outside. After some time passed, he returned to the hangar. 3 children were with him.

The other guard asked Mr. Matias: “Why are those 3 not in a bus?” “Because those 3 children will swap their places with these 3.” Mr. Matias replied. “But our orders were . . .,” protested the other guard. Mr. Matias interrupted him: “I am your superior. Write down the new names as they tell them to you. Quick! Do as I say!”

We couldn’t believe our luck! All 6 of us gave Mr. Matias many hugs and thanked him many times. “By the way, kids, I will also be in the other facility. Who knows, we might all be in the same bus.”

I always loved jumping rope. All I wanted to do now was just jump up and down because I was so very happy. Then I felt Gabriel’s little hand grab mine. He lifted his head up, looked me in the eyes, and said, “Thank you, Pedrito! Thank you for not leaving me!” I bent down a little and kissed him on his cheeks.

© hülya n. yılmaz, February 22, 2015